You guys ever play with ArtRage? It’s a OSX and Windows program that basically emulates painting tools for windows. Kind of. It’s fun. It has this super cheesy “trace” mode where you can load up pictures and it will automatically color match your brushstrokes with the image you’re tracing. I’m not explaining it very well.

Anyway, just becuase you get the right colors, doesn’t mean you’re suddenly a good painter. I mean, right?

Anyway, Jenifer, my lovely wife, who is a trained fine artist, and, you know, fucking awesome, was appaled at my poor, poor attempts to paint portraits of Abigail the Schipperke in art rage.

To be fair, Gaia was laying on my mouse hand while I was drawing these. But to be more fair, I’m actually not a very good at painting.

I'm disappointed that it took me this long to give my holiday-award to the most offensive commercial or advertisement of the holiday season.
See if these bother you like they bother me:
1. There's a Virgin Mobile commercial where they talk about how great it is to use your phone to arrange illicit sex in the company mop room. Because if you use the corporate interwebs, you'll get caught.
2. The commercial where the girl gets a goddamn pony! And she's pissed because it's not a cellphone. It's a goddamn pony! And It bites! Good, you little bitch. I hope the pony bites you twice.
3. Any goddamn ad that suggests you buy a cellphone for someone as a gift. There is no worse gift you can give someone than giving them a cell phone. Hi! I took the liberty of signing you up for a contract for a piece of crappy electronics that will probably break or get lost before you're free to buy a new one! Let us celebrate the birth of our Lord by texting each other from across the room.