Stay off the ice.

Today, the ice is clear across the lake-- a top-down view into an underwater world.
The cold glass creates a barrier that keeps all but the slightest out and away;
the lake likes it like that.
With nobody so brave to swim or so foolish to walk
things can settle for a bit
before a rowdy spring sure to come.

January 03, 2012 \ Photo attribution

The Writelarge.com review and appreciation of “The Muppets”

I want to talk about the new Muppets film, “The Muppets”. I don’t think I can keep it short, so I’m not going to try. If you need a short version, I wrote this haiku:

This is a great movie.
But there are some little things
that don’t belie hope.

I went into this movie knowing that It would be a bigger deal for me than anyone else in the family. I wept with joy through the first 20 minutes of the film. Jeni kept looking over at me with that look she makes when she suspects I may be having a moment.

Oh yes. I had a moment. Many. I had moments of pure joy, again and again, even through the sour spots. This film is a salve on the wounds of a long suffering Muppet fandom.

Just the right touches.

Fundamentally, “The Muppets” is a love song written to and by the generation that grew up and during the Muppets glory years. Little details make the difference here, the film makes subtle (and not so subtle) calls back to the original show – not just in the obvious TV flashback scenes, but in thousands of tiny details.

Little things make the difference: There is clearly a banjo riff in the opening song and dance number. The set design surrounding the Muppet Theater that looks – almost too much – like what the already shabby Muppet set probably would look like after 30 years of (additional) neglect. The lobby of Muppet Theater is realized to to shabby chic, beautiful, glamourous perfection.

There is love in these little details. Look at the subtle curves that have been added to Miss Piggy’s head shape, the salt-and-pepper tufts in the fuzzier-than-ever Fozzie Bear, the beautiful ironwork on the fence at Kermit’s Hollywood home. Attention to these little details are not part of the recipe for staging a commercially successful movie, however they are part of another subtle story being told. Someone made a choice to care about these details. Because of that choice, the sum is greater than the parts.

Peter Savieri, the artist who painted a portrait of Miss Piggy for a key scene in the film, demonstrates this “abundance of care” better than I ever could in a blog post at ToughPigs.com. The subtle back story here is that the Muppets matter to this movie’s makers. This was a great fear of the fandom relieved. We’re not going to be subjected to a Muppets rebrand made by people whose attention is really being paid to making money than to the dignity of the franchise.

And then there are The Moopets. As described by the film’s antagonist Tex Richman, The Moopets are “cynical Muppets for a cynical world” (and, apparently, so is Dave Grohl). The Moopets represent the threat of what could have been part of a Muppets rebranding gone horribly, horribly wrong. If the captain at the helm of any Muppets project hadn’t been driven by a love of the Muppets, the Mooppets could have happened. The Moopets have no dignity. The Moopets have no integrity. The Moopets have no problem altering the lyrics to classic Muppets songs to promote their commercial interest. The Moopets don’t mind promoting Cars 2 in random exterior shots throughout the film. Oh, wait… um… never mind that last sentence.

The point is, The Moopets are an over-the-top nod and a wink to the Muppets fandom’s worst nightmare about Disney’s handling of the brand over the years. The Moopets presence in the film tells Muppet fandom that things are going to be ok. The filmmakers have seen your nightmares, Muppets fanatic, and they acknowledge and dismiss them. And there was much rejoicing.

But, of course, just because Muppet fandom has been assured that something won’t go wrong doesn’t mean that anything will go right. The greatest question on the lips of every person in the Muppets fandom over the last year: can “The Muppets” mark the beginning of a silver era for Muppetdom? It’s been a long 30 years.

Sometimes even frogs have rainy days.

It would have been so easy to go for cheap “Behind the Music” laughs at the Muppet’s expense. Imagine the drama and heartbreak and jokes that could have been told about the Muppets spiral through the 90’s. But again, such attention was paid to maintaing the Muppet’s dignity, that instead of spelling out each and every drama the Muppets endured, the viewer is given only subtle hints and clues as to what occurred in the intervening years.

Throughout the movie, the characterizations of the older Muppets were spot on, developed ever-so-slightly in the right directions, with subtle, unsaid backstories– that never went too far into detail as to cement anything in Muppet canon. Specific holes in the last 30 years are left up to the viewer’s imagination to fill in the blanks, meaning important questions remain unanswered. Did Miss Piggy and Kermit ever marry? Did the Electric Mayhem ever realize their mellow and profitable dreams? Did Muppets From Space really happen?

Some questions, though, are answered.

Has Fozzie Bear aged? The bear’s brows may have gone gray with age, but Fozzie Bear has regressed. A once beloved comedy icon in his own right, Fozzie is now the featured act in a lowly Muppets tribute band (The Moopets) performing in Reno, Nevada. Fozzie may have well found himself back at El Sleezo Cafe. This turn of events, however, builds on Fozzie’s character. He’s sunk to the lowest level of Las Vegas show culture,– the sub-D-List resort and casino. And yet, he remains forever Fozzie Bear, because even as he takes his lumps, his heart is still in making people laugh. Clearly, the bear will take whatever audience he can get. And we still love him for it. Remember, it was never Fozzie’s comedy that made us love him, it’s his heart– it was that Fozzie Bear gets up on that stage, night after night, and tries his best. The Fozzie Bear we meet in Reno is still at it.

Has Miss Piggy become a good person? Miss Piggy is the most human female lead in the film, showing that she’s both compassionate and dedicated, and maybe one of the few Muppets on good financial, moral, and ethical ground when she’s “rediscovered.” In the past, her relationship with Kermit has been presented as completely pathological; in the intervening years, she and Kermit may well have lived together and were even possibly married. This opens up so many dramatic possibilities. Did Kermit leave Piggy at the altar? Were they on the track to becoming a Hollywood power couple? What went wrong? All this drama is left unsaid, except for a few subtle lines and, of course, the torn photo of the two in wedding clothes (a promotional photo from “He’ll Make Me Happy” the non-canonical Muppets take Manhattan).

The point is, again, the story – and more importantly the franchise– is stronger for the things left unsaid.

The egotistic and self-deluded Miss Piggy is still there, yes. And she makes a roaring comeback at the movie’s end, but underneath is a Miss Piggy who has grown. She comes to Muppet Theater, ultimately, not to once again attempt to ensnare Kermit, but because the rest of the Muppets need her her star power. She knows this. She even steps into a leadership role at one point, cementing her place as the second ventricle of the Muppets beating heart. Miss Piggy showing loyalty to the community? Piggy rehearsing? A Miss Piggy who is honest? This is a new Miss Piggy. This is a Piggy we can love.

But can the frog?

Why is Kermit so depressed? Kermit has been changed. Clearly, he’s been wounded. He’s got some of the saddest lines in the entire film. He snaps at Piggy in the streets of Paris: “Who do you think’s been taking care of that house all these years?” This tells us everything we need to know about where Kermit’s heart has been since we last saw the Muppets.

He’s been clinging to the past, unable or unwilling to make a change or move forward with his life. What was this change? What hurt the frog so? Was it Piggy? Seems too obvious.

We all know what happened that effectively stopped Kermit’s growth and development. Jim died. It’s left unsaid in the movie, but you cannot take the Muppets into the present without dealing with the harsh reality of the past.

Did something break we can’t repair?

In a seemingly simple line from the the first real Muppet musical number in the movie, Kermit wonders aloud if it would be possible to capture the old Muppet magic, or is there something missing that can’t be replaced or repaired.

That something’s name is James Maury Henson.

Throughout the film, Jim Henson remains a subtle presence. He’s shown in backgrounds and in streetlamp flags along the streets where Muppet Theater is located. The “Jim” Muppet is seen the backgrounds nearly as often as the obnoxious product placement for Cars 2.

Henson’s absence over the 22 years since his death is candidly addressed (in the most bizarrely meta moment of a film admittedly peppered with meta moments,) when Kermit looks at the wall of memories in his cottage. His eyes scan across a pin board of promotional stills from many classic Muppet guest stars, but they linger for a second on a particular photo. In the center of the scrapbook as a simple black and white promotional shot of Kermit and Jim Henson.

The loss of Jim Henson was, clearly, the point of the knife that cut away part of the frog’s soul. One can’t help but imagine that Kermit, in his way, has spent all these years trying to figure that out. Trying to get over that loss. Trying to move on. Trying to heal.

The answer might have been as simple as “getting the gang back together and putting on a show,” but like so many simple gestures of healing, it takes a stranger, a wandering savant, to bring back the fertility that the wounded king of the Muppets so desperately craves.

Of course, this makes Walter Kermit’s Percival. Lets not go there.

Cameos of note.

In addition to Henson’s deliberate presence in the film other Muppet cameos appear in the film and are well executed.

• Pepe, the king Prawn, is briefly seen as partner to Miss Piggy’s big dance number, a perfect role for the character who many fanatics believe was at one-time slated as upstart Kermit usurper.
• Wayne and Wanda, endorsed all these years as “wholesome, American entertainment” by conservative mouthpiece Sam the American Eagle, get a brief moment when they think the lights are down to wildly make-out with reckless abandon.
• Robin, Kermit’s young nephew, is mercifully not in the film. Think of the continuity problems this avoids. Good choice.
• Beauregard, the incompetent janitor added in Season 3 of the Muppet Show’s original run is used to great effect.
• Mad Man Mooney’s, the used car dealership first seen in The Muppet Movie, appears as Sweetums comes dashing out of the used car lot where he worked as a car jack prior to joining the Muppets on their first trip to Hollywood.

Good Choices.

The selective and intelligent use of the Muppets many one-joke characters were good choices for the filmmakers. But the good choices didn’t end there. Other smart decisions included:

Keeping the franchise clean.
Although there was some talk about trying to arrange an Elmo cameo in the film, no reference to any other Muppet franchise appears. Fraggles and Doozers, Dog Cops, Bear and the Big Blue Whatever, and even Sesame Street, are all good and wonderful things, but don’t belong in a Muppets film.

And let us make special note of the lack of Muppet Babies in the film. Let the two franchises never combine. Let there be healing and understanding around the idea that the Muppet Babies are not, and can never be, Muppet canon.

True Confession: I did notice a “Muppet Babies” lunchbox in Walter’s Muppet shrine in his bedroom. For a few terror-filled moments, I worried that there would be some attempt to align the conflicting timelines of the Muppets movies with the Muppet Babies storyline. But I don’t begrudge Walter his Muppet Babies fandom. We were all young once and made dumb choices.

A few sour notes

There were some moments where the polish wore a little thin in “The Muppets.” In particular, the the film’s inclusion of certain licensed music. No amount of nostalgia will ever make me believe that “We Built This City” was a good choice. It’s made all the more frustrating by the fact that the original songs in the movie are really pretty good. Why not have more new and original songs performed by the Muppet players? It’s been 30 years for goodness sake. Someone must have written a new song in that time.

Other musical miscues abound. The nonsensical merging of a barbershop gag and the otherwise outstanding a capeella performance of “Smells like Teen Spirit” is weird and disjointed. And while “Forget You” performed by Camilla and the chickens was a great moment, there just aren’t very many really great bits in the telethon.

The telethon (warning: spoilers) ultimately fails to raise the money the Muppets were after, so it’s hard to point at the lack of stunning performances as a place where the film falls flat, but given the magic that flowed in and out of every other aspect of the movie, the content of the telethon was not up to the bar set by the Movie’s opening number.

The Rainbow Connection Reprised, (Part II, Again, Some More, the Quickening) was a less than satisfying climax to the telethon, leaving, of course, the Whistling Caruso even less of a climax, leaving, of course, the final number of the film, then again, less climactic. The telethon dribbles to an ending that, frankly, resolves very little, and could have very easily left the movie limping to a dissatisfying end.

Fortunately, the gang at Muppet Studios had a sure thing to turn to: Mah Na Mah Na. Mah Na Mah Na comes in from the bullpen and close down the game. And it works. Give Mah Na Mah Na the save. The film producers, like a good baseball manager, knew that when the starting pitcher starts to struggle, you need to bring in the closer. Good Choice

But let’s talk for a second about The Whistling Caruso.
One of the things that made the Muppet Show of old great was that occasionally there would be these weird moments of real (and often bizarre) talent. A man whistling might have been one of those moments. A Muppet whistling like that is not. I mean, maybe if the Muppet, through some amazing feat of puppeteering, was really whistling, then you’ve got something.

But the point is moot, because Walter’s character is not offered to the Movie-going audience as a performer. Throughout the movie he shows no interest in performing with the Muppets. He even muffs most of his dances in the opening number in Smalltown. The Whistling Cauruso comes out of nowhere. It makes no sense.

Walter’s clearly a ‘behind the scenes’ character. His talent should be leadership and inspiration. He’s the hero, not the star. Walter is a very manly Muppet, too manly to fit into Muppetdom, to Muppety to fit into manhood. It leaves him in a unique position, and to suddenly prop him up as The Whistler cheapens us all. Also, I’m not a fan of his suit.

“I didn’t laugh; I didn’t know how.”

If Walter is the hero, then who is the villain of this film? It’d be easy to say the wealthy oil baron Tex Richman. Tex Richman is clearly a muppet of a man. He’s hardly a villain, so much as he’s a plot device. He even gets a song– and it’s actually pretty good.

I have two suggestions and one assertion.

Suggestions:

1. Mary.

I’m not a fan of Mary. Give me a second to address Mary directly: Say what you mean and mean what you say, Mary. Your passive aggressive nonsense nearly killed the Muppets again. Go to your room.

I don’t have much faith that Gary and Mary’s relationship will withstand the test of time, other than that Gary will probably remain blindly dedicated to her for the rest of her life because that’s the kind of awesome guy Gary is. Mary is a passive aggressive self-deluded millennial archetype– so much so that the entire town arranges a song and dance number centered around how happy her life is – just so she can have her dramatic moment whining about Gary’s (admittedly weird) preoccupation with his Muppet brother.

But Mary’s skills as an elementary school shop teacher are put to use rebuilding Muppet Theater, and ultimately save the day during the telethon. So, she’s probably not the villain.

2. Uncle Deadly

The Phantom of the Muppet Show has a canonical grudge against the Muppets, and his change of heart ultimately helps resolve what little structure revolves around the Tex Richman plot. But he’s not a villain by his own admission in the film, so that kind of rules him out.

Assertion: The villain of “The Muppets” is none-other than the film’s own producer and distributor, Disney.

3. Disney.

Who among us did not feel betrayed by the Disney folks handling of the Muppet franchise in the early years? And are not the dust covered relics of the pre-Disney Muppet icons shoved into an abandoned theme park (that never was) not accurate reflections of every Muppet fan’s observation of the Muppets’ earliest years under the Disney umbrella?

As the fandom’s everyman, our hearts broke alongside Walter’s as he saw the dust-covered Electric Mayhem bus. We cursed the dilapidated state of the theater. We swallowed back the familiar bile of disappointment that we faced through the 90’s as Kermit and friends became less and less a respected pantheon and more and more of an ignored, cast-off investment.

In fact, Richman, as the on-paper antagonist of the film, even reveals his final ace-in-the-hole to the Muppets following the completion of the Muppet Telethon, that it doesn’t matter what happens to the Muppets, because he owns the entire Muppet property: both physical and intellectual. In reality, this ace-in-the-hole really belongs to Disney. Disney, as well as Tex Richman, can take the Moopets and make Mmuppets out of them– fandom’s greatest fears– winked at earlier in the film, stands to become reality.

That plot point is only resolved via a throw-away moment revealed during the final credit sequence. The story and the film end with the Muppets and their fandom standing in defiance of the legal fact that they’ve been sold to big business and stripped of their right to remain Muppets.

Hard to live without

This film’s creators should to be applauded for all their fine work, avoiding doing a cheap “reboot” like J.J. Abrams’ take on Star Trek. They went all-in to bring the Muppets forward into the 21st century with dignity, integrity, and respect.

By all likes, they’ve succeeded, and although I don’t think that we’ll ever see Muppetry take center stage in the modern era of cheap and easy CG animation, the world does need a happy song sometimes, and the Muppets are, thanks in large part to this film, in just the place to bring it one.

Can the franchise ride high on the euphoria of “The Muppets” success? One can only hope so; it has been great seeing the Muppets appearing as celebrities again, appearing in parades and hosting grand openings.

There is no question that Muppet fandom has the will to sustain a revamped Muppet Show.

Only time will tell if Disney has the same.

Gabe Wollenburg used to have a subscription to Muppets Magazine and he believes the copies are still in their neat little stack in the secret compartment in the closet of his childhood bedroom. However, he’s not going to go look because the minute he discovers they’re not there he will have lost something precious.

Krampas is watching

Through Roofs of Tin
and roofs of thatching
Beware! Beware! Krampus is watching!

Say you’re creeping down yule-tide stair
to spot your gifts 'fore morning's there
and should you see black tufts of hair
Run! Black Peter awaits those who dare
to spoil the joy of holiday's morn.
Corporate greed receives his scorn.

It’s not just children who’d be well to fear
CEOs shiver when Black Peter’s here.
It is their greed that brings the Krampus near
through this holiday and in New Year.

Walk with me again.

Here again.
A year ago I hit the ground running.
Three-hundred and sixty-two days ago I saw my third sunrise in as many days and I was a changed man. And then again. And then again. And then again.

Walk with me.

Walk with me; you will find the path is not as clear as it should seem.
Walk with me; you will find you had no idea what you were getting into.
Walk with me; you will find I have no idea where we are going.
I will lead you astray. I will do things wrong. I will wreck your walk. I will hurt your feelings. I will say and do and think things that are not the things that you will want me to say, do and think.

Walk with me anyway.

The destination is not as important as the path, which is not as important as the journey.

Walk with me anyway. we will walk to new and wonderful places.
Walk with me anyway; we will discover things and feelings we did not know we were capable of.
Walk with me anyway; we will say and do and think the answers to questions we never knew we had.

We will walk in profound joy and we will walk in profound grief. And we will come to the face the sunshine on the third day and we will stand in front of our new family and we look each other in the eye and see the light is cast not by the sunshine alone.

And then we will be apart.

When I think back on that morning when the sun shined over the forest’s peak on the third day, I will remember the love you showed me.
And the pain of your absence will be lessened when I realize, one day, we will walk together again.

Sept. 2010 \ Photo Attribution

The Sun Rises Again.

And the sun shines on the third day. As it ever does.

The old songs mean something again.
And our hearts beat loud and clear for all.

Let the healing continue.

This adventure we have undergone was great,
and the adventures we will go on tomorrow will be great.
As the adventures of those that came before us were great.

Let the sun shine on the third day anew.
Let the sun wash over the field of our ordeal and cleanse us,
shine on us,
bring another tomorrow to us.

Though worn and weary, come to the end of this third day and behold that light, and be grateful.

Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you for your warmth.
Thank you for your gentle light.
Thank you for your life-giving power.

Let us use it wisely.

Sept. 2010 \ Photo Attribution

Just pulled into Wales Community Park. I'd been circling around Wales looking for a forest or tree to crawl in, feeling kind of crummy and avoiding being mad at my client who had just called to tell me he was going to be a half-hour late.

There are a number of "old" subdivisions in wales. Nice big houses on big lots with old growth trees and that sort of thing. Nice houses tucked way back from the road behind a ridge of trees. Very nice.

Found a house for sale there: $425,000. I suspect I could negotiate down the $25,000. I wonder briefly where the other $400,000 will come from.

I look up and see the disk golfers-- fucking hippies-- following their frizbies around a largely un-treed savannah grassland. This isn't a park, its a wasteland.
Maybe one day it will be beautiful. Not today.

The downs I'm paying for the up I sustained last week-- and will sustain in the coming week of road travel-- are massive. And, what's frustrating about them is not that they're so painful or desperate. That the're just so goddamn apathetic. Big picture stuff wraps itself around my legs making me anxious, but little picture stuff-- the here and now-- is too easy to let go of. Too easy to not care about.

One step at a time. One more step forward. Towards the top of the mountain. Towards hope. And all that.

The clover at the park is deep green and pocked by the white flowwerheads, which bobble in the feeble breeze raking the Wales Community Park. This is not living. This is hiding. I close my laptop and head over to my client meeting. I will try very hard to be engaged and energetic with him. He will not be able to tell how morose I feel.

Tomorrow is another day.

It happens in the gutter.

May 27, 2010: 48 hours to go

Fire Friends and Fire Brothers,
Fire Sisters and Fire Lovers:

Dance!
Dance until sunrise
for it will be over
far
to
soon.

June 1, 2010

Come the next morning as you're standing in the sun
look to the west and see that the shadow is not gone. It is still there.
And ask yourself this:
Who is casting that shadow?

------
The night before:
When you were surrounded by shadows, who cast the light?
------

Walk. Dance. Sing. Serve.

*Shine*

June 1, 2010 \ Photo attribution

Drink Deep

1.

Drink deep
this amazement,
this wonder;

fill your empty places
with these drops
of love and whimsy.

Keep your heart
light by sipping
this curious amazement,
this earth.
this life.

Dance and sing.
Call and response.
Paint and play.

This wonder is yours to enjoy.

2.

When you are done, Drink again!

A wonderous delight,
such as our time together,
is meant to be enjoyed.

There are but 13 moons each year.
It may seem a lot,
but I assure you,
they go by too quick.

Let us pause between each frothing cup of joy
to apreciate how this moment came to be.
Let us will linger there--
but only for a second.

The next cup is coming fast
and you wouldn't want to miss it.

March 2010 \ Photo attribution

Eleven years again

When I walk with you again,
I hope my fresh-born heart remembers
our happy Mays and warm Septembers
spent ‘round the fire’s glowing embers.

I will walk with you again,
where the peat meets forrest’s floor.
Your heart’s the key and mine’s the door,
that we may fall in love once more.

I will walk with you, my friend.
I will walk through thick and thin.
I will find you in that place where
our re-born hearts are home again.

May 15, 2010 \ Photo by Robert Paxton

Earth: This time around

This life. This time around.
This blue-green gate of experience
is the place from where
our ancestors came and went.
It is our cradle and our casket.

This is the earth we stand upon:
We walk as creatures born of mud and dust.
We walk as creatures born as equals.
We walk in a miasma of existance, unaware of the life in which we tread. Look around!

Earth is.
Earth was.
Earth as will ever be.

We will break our mother's heart again and again
but she will take us back when we come to her.
We love her for it.

Wisdom of the earth is knoweldge incarnate, built of beauty, bone, peat and power.
On Earth, my friend, your virtue is reborn.

Jan. 25, 2010 \ Read it on Scribd \ Photo attribution