So Melvin cornered a rat in the back yard this morning. I don’t really know what happened becuase I was sleeping, but J says that he was carrying on in a high pitched wild voice that she hardly recognized.

Once she got Melvin into the house, she (J) made me come down stairs and check on the rat. It was scared, hurt, and confused. And very, very wet. I think maybe Melvin was trying to kiss it to death. Or maybe it was sweating becuase of how nervous it was.

So I  called the rat “Nicodemus” and shoved the little bastard away from the garage with a pink plastic shovel. It tried to run, but It had a really hard time of it, springing and twisting and twitching out into the alley way to get away from my shovel. This is when I realized the rat only had three legs. But it wasn’t bleeding. Oh god. Its some kind of undead rat.

It sprang twitched its way down the alley and into a fenced off area of a neighbor’s backyard, where I left it.

Took Melvin to the vet this evening, where they told me that it was unlikely that he’s got rabies or anything, and but that it was hard to tell because he was so overweight and aggressive.

Story of my frickin' life. I'm not gonig to help you, you're dog's fat and an asshole.

For what it's worth, Melvin' appears to be fine, by the way.